Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
pop tarts are not kleenex
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dick very happy bro
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
