Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
