I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
