i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
