hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
