you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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