what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
