you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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