FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The air taste purple.
Randomize