Define "chronic" masturbator.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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