I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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