hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
