My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
