I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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