no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I fill condoms, not promises.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Randomize
