Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
