I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
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TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
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She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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