He is such a slut. More and more my type.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
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she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
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you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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