I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
