Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
this boner is exhausting
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
