She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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