So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
