it was like his penis was on wheels.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You don't make any sense
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