so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
