oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
