I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
