I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
