make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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