There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
