By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I have already put on my inside pants.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
