so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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