i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
