I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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