I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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