Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
