Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
