Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
