guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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