Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
