Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
