real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
