My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
worst night to have a conscience
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
