I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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