Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
