Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
