his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
