He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
