Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
