He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
