I want to have your abortion
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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