Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize