dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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