sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
