Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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