And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
