whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You made out with two different species that night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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