i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
