thus making me awesome and them whores
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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