i just wanna soil my oats bro
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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