Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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