the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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