So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
